Back To School: What My Daughter Taught Me About Lunches And Snacks
The daily task of making lunch and snacks is not something that comes naturally to me; rather, it’s something I’ve learned, and my greatest teacher after all these years is my daughter.
A middle-schooler now, she’s been packing lunches and snacks with me ever since she was a baby, and I was sending her off to daycare with a little pack of (gasp) puffed rice, store-bought baby food, and powdered formula. When I think back on that time, I cringe. I’m ashamed that I wasn’t with her more during her early years. Looking back, I wish I had, at least, put more effort into her little pink snack pack each day.
It took me way too long to realize the importance of her lunch and snack. Of course, I knew she needed sustenance, food to get through the day, but I didn’t realize that her lunch and snack were two ways that we could connect with each other even when we were away from one another.
As people and parents, we carry regrets, heartaches we want to wish away. Some shame cuts deeper than others, but what I cling to now is the idea of repair. In her book Good Inside clinical psychologist Dr. Becky Kennedy suggests:
“It is not too late to repair and reconnect with your kids and change the trajectory of their development. And it’s also not too late for you. It’s not too late for you to consider what parts of yourself are in need of repair and reconnection; as adults, we can work on rewiring ourselves and changing the trajectory of our own development. It is not too late. It’s never too late.”
Today, amidst the chaos of a week-day morning, as my now 6th grader organizes her backpack, triple-checks to be sure she has her homework, her independent reading book, her soccer clothes, and more, I do my best to spend a few extra minutes adding something special to her lunch and to her snack. Nothing major. Just a little dash of detail that feels like a warm hug in a hectic lunchroom.
It was around first grade when she started to want to actively help me pack her lunch. Her suggestions blew my mind!
“Mama, use a cookie cutter to make a heart-shaped peanut-butter-and-jelly sandwich,” she said. I was floored! To this day her brilliant ideas just keep coming. “Warm the thermos with hot water first, mom. Then, dump out the water and the Mac and Cheese will stay warmer longer!” Brilliant.
Of course, she learned from observing the lunches of her friends as they ate and snacked in the cafeteria. Then, she brought those fun, magical lunch ideas home.
I’m forever grateful for the village. And naturally, I followed my daughter’s lead, learning from bloggers and influencers as I desperately scroll their pages seeking fun snack ideas. Just the other day I saw another mom use cute paper plates to make ordinary snacks look and feel extraordinary.
I know now that making my daughter her lunch and snack each day also feeds me. It’s a small but weighty opportunity for me to repair, to let go of the shame I carried for so long. After all, as Dr. Becky Kennedy says, “It’s never too late.”
As someone who often feels disconnected from “self-care” I’ve even discovered, thanks to my daughter, that I enjoy a heart-shaped sandwich every once in a while, too.
